My mother was a Thai desserts maker and seller, specializing in those made of egg yolk such as Flower egg yolk tart (Tong Yip), Round egg yolk tart (Tong Yord), Golden egg yolk thread (Foi Tong), etc. She put her life at stake bravely by venturing into the business from a loan for the first time.

Probably due to her talent together with her fate, she became a successful and reputable Thai desserts seller both for retailing and wholesaling in that area.  Her success was a sum of her hard work and effort involved from late morning to dusk.  I grew up and always witnessed how hard my mother worked and how suffering she faced physically and mentally. Before bedtime, she often scratched my hands gentle like a cat did.  It might seem a way to express her love to me.  She kept scratching while telling me her bitter past stories.  No matter how hard her life was, she would never let her children’s lives as hard as hers.  She tried badly to get everything she could so that her children wouldn’t feel lacking.  She did everything that made her children happy. 

In my childhood days, my elder brother and I usually waited for my mother to return home from the market and dug for some deserts in the bottom of her shopping basket. 

At that time, I never saw the concealed meaning of it.  I only knew that mother was coming back home with some deserts.  Once I had them, I would just go to play outside or find something else to do.  But, after her passing, the moment I thought about her, the picture of me searching for deserts from her basket always appeared in my thoughts.     

It seemed like when I took the deserts out of the basket, I hardly look up to her face.  My subconscious mind probably knew that her face would reflect her tiredness, so I did not want face her since I did not know what to do to relieve her exhaustion.

Roughly 340 days of a year, my mother would  always bring deserts and fruits for us everyday and she made sure they would be always different. 

She would go to the market every day to search and buy either ready-to-sell  desserts or ingredients to make them for her children awaiting at home…

Even some days were my mother felt disheartened and hopeless, when business wasn’t so good, running short of money to replenish the supply for the coming day, she never went back home without deserts at the bottom of the basket.  She never cared of her own feelings as much as her children’s disappointment if they wouldn’t receive what they were waiting for.

A Mother’s life has only traces of love for her children.

However, not so many will actually consider the meaning hidden inside it.

It’s because they receive so much that they lack to understand and recognize the value of what they are receiving.

By the time they realize it is always almost too late.  As children, they can only feel sorrow for the inadequate love given to their mother.

Mother’s Day is typically a day of remembrance of our mother with gratitude at merely the surface level.  To say it like this is because all sons and daughters do have love and are aware of the gratitude in mind.  As always being on the receiving end, children sometimes take it for granted and turn to be selfish, leading to forgetfulness of the love and great sacrifice that mothers who devote their time, love, caress, physical and mental energy for her children in a way that is beyond explanation.

Even when a mother is about the deliver a new-born baby, she has to endure such a great pain from labor that she nearly dies.

During the nine months in the womb, the fetus is dwelling with the blood and tissues, absorbing the nutrients from the mother’s body, breathing, sleeping, awaking in the mother’s womb, echoing the mother’s voice, and moving along with her. 

The Mother’s breath is also the child’s breath.  If the mother stops breathing, the baby has no way to live either. 

All of the mother’s being is everything in that little baby’s life…

Moreover, even nine months have passed, the journey of motherhood is not yet over and has never ends. 

After the new-born baby is delivered, the mother’s life always goes on for the life of her child.  Is the child hungry? Is he or she hurt?  What would the child like to eat?  Why is the child crying?  What should the mother do to make her child stop crying?  When the child gets sick, the mother’s heart is so desperate.  What does the child want to have?  What should she do to get things for her child?  If the moon or stars are far out of reach, she would provide bed and cushion so that the child could enjoy sparkling stars while laying down.  If the child dreams of being a fairy tale angel, princess, superhero or whomever, the mother will find the way to make child’s dream comes true.

Even if her future has almost come to an end, the child’s future must be magnificent. 

Even if she is not educated, may her child get a graduate degree. 

Even if she is inglorious, may her child be honorable. 

Even if she is not accepted, may her child always get a chance.

Even if there is no one by her child’s side, she will be the one beside you.

Mother’s heart is made out of love and ends with love. 

But another kind of love, is often not so…

Do not look for love from others, so that you forget to give love to your mother.

Do not devote your time to others, so that you have no time to talk to your mother.

Mother always has her child as top priority, whether or not Mother’s Day exists.

Do not be a child to repay mother just for only on Mother’s Day. Once you have found the traces of her love, you will realize that there is nothing greater than your mother’s love.

Image by Mojca from Pixabay